Published February 20, 2010
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
you are tall but higher is your vision,
i hate it but crave for you, its a fusion,
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
you always deny it but you are my craze,
you are everywhere, life's exploring which phase?
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
my touch and your snowy act,don't you feel?
the spark i get takes much time to heal,
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
you are so magical or am i a fluff?
getting out of your whammy, man! its tough,
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
you are my star, the luminosity on the blue,
you know you are my vision, the man in the crew,
i am not in a mood to write about you,
but i want to tell i am thinking about you.
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141,616 Literary Works • 675,162 Reviews
Hi Sarah. Welcome to YWS.
My suggestion to you before I even consider to review this is proper grammar.
Really? To me that means nothing. i isn't proper capitalization, u is a letter and thinkin is a word that hasn't been completely spelled. I think it show a lack of respect to your own work, the least you can do it use proper grammar. And if you don't do it for yourself, do it for the reviewer. Because really why should they read any farther?
I find this line a little ridiculous, because you are writing about them because a poem is a literary work, not a conversation.
Lastly, this sounds more like Lyrics, judge what you are aiming for when writing.
I wish you luck, and if you need any help feel free to drop me a line.
Kamas